Where Do I Begin . . .

My husband, Rick, and I are raising four children together - Kayla, age 16, Alyssa, age 12, Anthony, age 6, and Andrew, age 4. Kayla is our niece, who we have been raising for several years. Alyssa is my daughter from my first marriage. The boys are both of ours. Some would say we are a "blended family", but to us, we are just the Coonrod Family. All of them are our children and they introduce each other as brothers and sisters. Anthony was recently diagnosed with ADD.  

When Anthony was born, he was the ideal baby. By two weeks old he was sleeping through the night, he rarely cried, and he had the coolest little kid personality. We quickly learned that he was somehow different from other children, but in ways that couldn't be explained. At around six months, Anthony would sit in his high chair and continually move his hands in such an unusual way, we called it "Conducting His Orchestra". As he got older, he just didn't seem to be like other children.  Sure, he played and laughed and threw temper tantrums, just like other kids his age, but, again, there was just a feeling I had that he didn't quite fit.  We just considered him unique and figured that was just who he was, and that was OK with us.  All of us are a bit quirky.

Fast forward to Kindergarten - Anthony's first Parent/Teacher Conference was a bit of a surprise to us.  It turned out that our fun, smart, happy boy did not play with other children and that he couldn't work on any assignment for very long. She described his play as parallel, meaning he played alongside the other children, but didn't play with them. The teacher said it was because he was so young. When we talked to Anthony a bit, he thought he had a lot of friends and so, if it didn't bother him, we weren't going to worry about it.  By the end of kindergarten, his teacher told us that he was making real progress.

Our first Parent/Teacher Conference for First Grade was interesting.  His teacher kept asking us questions about what he is like at home. Does he do his homework, does he play with other kids, etc. After we left, it started to sink in that she was trying to tell us something. Yes, he does his homework, but it does take a long time.  He is constantly up and down from the table at mealtime and he can not complete anything without us having to tell him what to do every step of the way.

Rick and I talked it over for a while, as he was having a hard time admitting that something could be wrong with our boy, but Rick took the huge step and talked with his teacher one day when he picked Anthony up from school.  (It turned out that the hour it was taking each night for homework was not the norm!) She was really quick to suggest we talk with the school nurse and our pediatrician, and was very encouraging.  She has always been encouraging and we could tell that she didn't want him to be labeled as a bad kid.

We met with the nurse, who was a huge source of positive information and she was very supportive.  One of our fears was that the school would try to force us to medicate him if he was diagnosed and she straightened us out on that bit of misinformation.

Our pediatrician referred us to a Pediatric Behavior Specialist.  After completing several pages of paperwork for them, sending it out, and then waiting a few weeks, Rick contacted their office.  It turns out that they were booked for the next six months and we might have an appointment in approximately eight months. EIGHT MONTHS!?!?!?  I took matters in to my own hands and found a doctor who could see him in a few weeks.

We, again, had to fill out a large packet of paperwork, and have his teacher fill out several pages as well.  By this point, we were considering holding Anthony back and having him repeat first grade, because he just was not where he needed to be for his grade level.  He scored low on tests, and rarely finished assignments, but when we worked with him at home he knew all the information. We didn't want him to fall even further behind and never be able to get to the level he needed to be at, so maybe we should hold him back and give him the chance to catch up.  So many decisions!!

Anthony's first appointment with the Behavior Specialist was scheduled for March 2, 2011 and I was getting really nervous, but I will have to post that next time as it is getting really late.